“Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.”
More from Laurence Peter on Humor
“If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.”
“Expert: a man who makes three correct guesses consecutively.”
“Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.”
“My problem is I say what I'm thinking before I think what I'm saying.”
“An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.”
“Middle age is when anything new in the way you feel is most likely a symptom.”
“Egypt: Where the Israelites would still be if Moses had been a bureaucrat.”
“He laughs best whose laugh lasts.”
Others on Humor
Groucho Marx
23 quotes“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
George Carlin
13 quotes“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defea...”
H. L. Mencken
11 quotes“Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
Sir Winston Churchill
10 quotes“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome d...”
Ambrose Bierce
10 quotes“TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his d...”
Mary West
9 quotes“To err is human - but it feels divine.”
Douglas Adams
9 quotes“Insanity is a gradual process - don't rush it.”
Will Rogers
8 quotes“The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.”
Dorothy Parker
8 quotes“The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.”
Henry Kissinger
7 quotes“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Rodney Dangerfield
7 quotes“You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two!”
Steven Wright
6 quotes“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”