“A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with - even if he drank.”
More from H. L. Mencken on Humor
“Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
“Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”
“Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.”
“Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing they marry later. For another thing they die earlier.”
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”
“'Tis more blessed to give than to receive for example wedding presents.”
“Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.”
“A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone somewhere may be having a good time.”
“Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
Others on Humor
Groucho Marx
23 quotes“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
George Carlin
13 quotes“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”
Ambrose Bierce
10 quotes“Apologize v: to lay the foundation for a future offence.”
Sir Winston Churchill
10 quotes“Always remember, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
Douglas Adams
9 quotes“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special law...”
Mary West
9 quotes“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”
Laurence Peter
9 quotes“Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.”
Will Rogers
8 quotes“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.”
Dorothy Parker
8 quotes“Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”
Henry Kissinger
7 quotes“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.”
Rodney Dangerfield
7 quotes“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”
Steven Wright
6 quotes“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”