“Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
More from H. L. Mencken on Humor
“Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”
“A prohibitionist is the sort of man one wouldn't care to drink with - even if he drank.”
“Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.”
“Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing they marry later. For another thing they die earlier.”
“A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.”
“'Tis more blessed to give than to receive for example wedding presents.”
“Puritanism - the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.”
“A Puritan is a person who lives in the fear that someone somewhere may be having a good time.”
“Puritanism. The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
Others on Humor
Groucho Marx
23 quotes“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
George Carlin
13 quotes“I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, 'Where's the self-help section?' She said if she told me, it would defea...”
Sir Winston Churchill
10 quotes“In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words, and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome d...”
Ambrose Bierce
10 quotes“TELEPHONE n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his d...”
Mary West
9 quotes“To err is human - but it feels divine.”
Douglas Adams
9 quotes“Insanity is a gradual process - don't rush it.”
Laurence Peter
9 quotes“Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.”
Will Rogers
8 quotes“The minute you read something that you can't understand, you can almost be sure that it was drawn up by a lawyer.”
Dorothy Parker
8 quotes“The best way to keep children home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires.”
Henry Kissinger
7 quotes“There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.”
Rodney Dangerfield
7 quotes“You gotta look out for number one, but don't step in number two!”
Steven Wright
6 quotes“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.”