“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
More from Woody Allen on Humor
“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.”
“I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.”
“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
“His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.”
Others on Humor
Groucho Marx
23 quotes“Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.”
George Carlin
13 quotes“The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.”
H. L. Mencken
11 quotes“Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
Sir Winston Churchill
10 quotes“Always remember, that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.”
Ambrose Bierce
10 quotes“Apologize v: to lay the foundation for a future offence.”
Douglas Adams
9 quotes“Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special law...”
Mary West
9 quotes“Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.”
Laurence Peter
9 quotes“Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.”
Will Rogers
8 quotes“The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets.”
Dorothy Parker
8 quotes“Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.”
Henry Kissinger
7 quotes“Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.”
Rodney Dangerfield
7 quotes“I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.”